Soccer Coaches Meet Soccer Parents… We Hope You Enjoy the Show!

Soccer Coaches Meet Soccer Parents We Hope You Enjoy the Show Ian Barker NSCAA

Not so long ago if you wanted to get coaches to come together, to share a laugh, to acknowledge a common bond you might take a shot at the referee community. This was not a necessarily productive thing and spoke to a certain “us” and “them” mentality that in essence forgot that the players are at the heart of the game and referees and coaches are there to facilitate the game in tandem.

Today if a shot is to be taken by the soccer coaches it is as likely, if not most likely, to be aimed at the soccer parents than the referees. This is sad. In most cases the parents are the “customers” in the youth soccer environment and their investment of time and money in their children is central to youth soccer. In many ways that investment is the life blood of youth soccer clubs and leagues and the opportunity paid, or otherwise, of the coaches.

That the “us” and “them” mentality is increasingly common among youth soccer coaches is no doubt, in part, the result of poor parent behavior directed toward the coach, to opponents and sadly toward their own children. There is no smoke without fire and every coach will have had some experience of the following:

  • A “helicopter parent” overly involved at the expense of their childs enjoyment

  • A “coach-parent” who offers coaching advice during the game, sometimes at odds with the coach

  • A “blinkered parent” who only sees the challenges of the team as they impact them and their child

  • A “disengaged parent” who drops their child off and expresses little interest at all in the program

No doubt soccer coaches could come up with a much longer list of soccer parent “types”.

All said, in my opinion, it is the responsibility of the coach and the soccer parents to communicate with each other and to establish a game plan, a strategy, to make the entire experience child/player centric. A meaningful and intentional collaboration serves the children/players and eliminates, or at least alleviates, the prospect of tension between the adults supporting the children/players.

An effective coach should avoid advising parents on how to parent, however, they should feel confident in advising parents on how to “sport parent”. An effective coach should be able to express to parents what he/she needs from the parents in support of the team. That support should be as important in many ways to that of the coach, but it will be different in nature and certainly intentional.

The good folks of the Minnesota Youth Soccer Association, in conjunction with the University of Notre Dame, have developed and widely delivered a parent and coach education program called PACT. In the relevant chapters of PACT coaches are provided practical suggestions and examples of interpersonal communication with parents.

These include:

  • Developing a system of communication

  • When, where and how communication occurs

  • Ensuring it is two-way

  • Who is to be present

  • Conducting a meaningful pre-season meeting, “getting on the same page”

  • Setting boundaries, or better still establishing responsibilities

  • Conflict resolution

It is essential the soccer coach is intentional in the way they “coach” the soccer parents of their team in being the best supporters of the children/players possible. This may be extra work, relative to a professional coach, but the youth coach has an important constituent in the parent group and should be responsible for communication. Reasonably soccer parents will want to feel included and empowered to support the team. They can also be educated in the game as a whole, the specific tactics of the team and importantly on the coach’s overall thinking. For example, it may be the direction of the club, coach or parents that every child/player receives a minimum of 50% playing time. In this example the coach should be clear, it will be 50% over the course of the season and furthermore 50% of the time the player actually makes themselves available for. In this example the effort for clear and concise explanation on the part to the coach upfront can head a lot of misunderstanding later.

In my opinion soccer coaches should embrace the soccer parent groups in youth soccer and see them as allies in providing the best experience for the children/players. Coaches should try to shake the “us” and “them” mentality and instead include and empower their parents as an essential part of the successful and healthy youth soccer.

* Share a specific soccer parent issue you had as a coach and how you effectively or did not effectively handled it in the comments section below…

Article By:
Ian Barker
Director of Coaching Eduction for the NSCAA
Ian-Barker-Director-of-Coaching-NCSAA-Coaches-Training-Room-Soccer

Ian Barker is currently the Director of Coaching Education for the NSCAA (National Soccer Coaches Association of America). The ideas expressed here are his and do not necessarily reflect those of the NSCAA. Ian can be reached by e-mail at [email protected] or on Twitter @barkernscaa